Monday, May 26, 2008

No Bouquet, I Think

Well, it has happened. Steve asked me to marry him. So nuptials are in our future.

I was going to wait until after the November elections to ask him because there's bound to be a proposition on the ballot for a state constitutional amendment to deny marriage to same-sex couples, and I wanted to make sure all the legal obstacles were hurdled before we actually set a date and started inviting people and spending money. But Steve's the romantic one and more impulsive than I, so he popped the question first.

It's odd, because when I came out back in 1972, the concept of same-sex marriage wasn't even a concept. We just wanted to stop being arrested for being in a gay bar. We wanted the police harassment to stop. We just wanted to be viewed as actual human beings. At first, the concept of gay rights was not much more than license to have one big frat party until AIDS came along and sobered everyone up. But getting married? Sure; why not?

I see a major problem in planning the wedding, though: There is no female energy behind the endeavor. Bride and mother of the bride usually provide the majority of the motivation and impetus to the planning process. So rather than having a "traditional" wedding, I think we may have to design one from scratch. Don't worry; it won't be performed on skateboards or anything like that. But I like the idea of reinventing the ritual and making it belong to us.

So everything's getting rethought, at least in my mind. What are the flowers for? Why one big cake and not a lot of cupcakes? Does everyone really need to wear tuxes when no one is wearing a wedding gown? (No, I won't be, and I'm sure Steve's not keen on the idea, either.) What about a theme? (Tropical Tiki is incredibly cheap to pull off but thoroughly tacky.) My sister Kittie and her husband David had a pot luck reception which was killer (people brought everything from elaborate entrees to Kentucky Fried Chicken), but too many folks would be coming long distances for that to be practical here.

We're open to ideas. No date is set as of yet, but it's an inevitability. Leave a comment or drop an e-mail (links are to the right). All I know is we'll try to have it in cool weather, and it's bound to be in the Los Angeles/Pasadena area. We'll probably set a date by the end of the year. We're not in a rush, but we're getting a little too long in the tooth to put it off.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Finally!

After months of frustration trying to get onto this blog.......SUCCESS. I have only been able to read the blogs (brilliant though they may be) that Mark has posted, so this is my first attempt. Be gentle, I'm sensitive.

This Thursday I quit my job with the telemarketing company that I have been working at for the last eight months. I originally thought that I had found my dream job. Sadly the dream has faded. After several months of frustration, incredible pressure and finally developing a knot in my stomach the size of an adult Beagle, I decided that enough is enough. I will be working through next Tuesday and then onto bigger and better things. I have discussed this with Mark and other close confidants and am truly blessed with support and encouragement from all sides.

I will keep you posted (no pun intended) on my job search.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Right Don't Like the Right

The California Supreme Court, even though it is heavily Republican, has overturned the laws banning same-sex marriage in California, the Los Angeles Times and the New York Times reported today. Is that cool or what? Beuford is happy. He's very happy.

I have always said that I wouldn't have a commitment ceremony, since it was basically a sham or, at best, an excuse to have a fancy party. It doesn't say anything about the relationship except that the people are committed (or should be, according to some more conservative views). I don't want to swap rings until it means something real and legally binding. And unless the foaming conservative right really mucks things up, it looks like a wedding may be in our futures.

Steve and I are registered domestic partners, so we have most of the rights conferred upon married folks. But the state also registers sex offenders, and a database is just a database, after all; it depends on what the state wants to do with it. Personally, I would rather be filed in with all the other married folks where our connubial status can get lost among everyone else's.

It's nice to know that our governor said he would not support the amendment and would uphold the court's decision. And L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaregosa said he would officiate as many same-sex marriages as possible. I was starting to feel left out of this season's politics; the Democrats especially have been very quiet, if not mute, about gay rights during the campaign. Maybe they knew this was coming and didn't have to stir anything that would stir itself.

So i'm sure there's a lot of conservative folks freaking out right now, pushing to get a proposition on the ballot in November (which they will do) pushing a constitutional amendment denying the right to marry to same-sex couples, an amendment that the governor said he would not support.

Is it really a good idea to make amendments to constitutional documents to deny a person's or class of people's fundamental rights?

And, let's face it, it's a crime to deny a gay man the right to a bridal registry; it is a fundamental right of the fabulous to request and receive get extravagant gifts.

So all you Californians out there make sure your two cents count by voting in November. And I'll be signing up at Macy's as soon as we defeat the amendment and set a date.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Thurberite

I've decided I really suck at social commentary. I'm like Superman and kryptonite, only my deadly element is Thurberite; when exposed, I just can't come up with any profound insights into anything at all. I'm much better at just spewing out what happened this week in as engaging a way as possible. And throw in a couple of pictures while I'm at it.
I didn't take any pictures this week with the old iPhone, so I'm including one that Deeann (art director here at The Reporter) took of me by the Bethesda fountain in Central Park. We both happened to be in New York simultaneously (I was on vacation and she was there on business), so we met at the Met (how endearing) and walked through the park; stopped for a drink at the Boathouse, then walked south to Columbus Square and down Broadway to Times Square, then took a subway to her hotel in the Soho and had a marvelous dinner on the company credit card. And, yes, we did talk shop.

Recent tragedy: I dropped my iPhone and got a stress fracture in the corner of its high-tech faceplate. Luckily, it still worked, but I knew if I didn't do something, those little shards of glass would fall out in my pocket and slice up my fingers or something worse. So I gently applied a few drops of superglue and sealed the crazed corner perfectly. I cannot, however, take a picture of the iPhone damage with the iPhone, which seems somehow profound to me. (It's that Thurberite again). So I have no shots of the damage. It does, however, set me up with a perfect rationalization for why I will need to purchase the new model when Apple comes out with it (and you know they will).

This last week was one for cars. Steve got his 30,000-mile servicing on Wednesday and I got my 60,000-mile servicing on Friday. We coughed up over a grand for the car dealership, but it's worth it knowing I'm less likely to break down on the freeway. I've had my car for almost nine years now, and I've put 40,000 miles on it. That works out to a little less than 4,500 miles a year. Hopefully, I can keep it for another five years or so, and the next car I buy will run on hydrogen.

Things are going well at The Reporter. The redesign (I'm sure you've all rushed out by now and picked up a copy at your local newsstand) is getting more familiar, and what was daily invention last week is now becoming a bit more routine. There were a couple of times this week, though, that I had to get adamant and put my foot down about some really egregious design choices made by a few of the editors and paginators. There were a few heated moments and some slapdash last-minute redesigns on my part, but the overall look is remaining consistent while slowly expanding to fill day-to-day needs. Really; pick up a copy. Weekdays it's only $3.

My cousin Robin Riker finally returned from her adventures in New York. She's got a new and exciting gig you can read all about in next week's TV Guide. Total excitement. Also, my brother David and his wife Alain had a baby just recently. I didn't even know they were pregnant. It's there sixth child, so they're probably used to it by now. I understand there were some tense moments with a late and induced delivery, and some postnatal concerns with the baby (whose name escapes me at the moment it starts with "Jay" and I want to say Jayred). Anyway, another McDougal is on the planet. I figure David and Alain have more than made up for my blissfully nonreproductive lifestyle.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Among the Yearning Masses

I'm thinking that, here in the 21st century, communism is a relic. Like the industrial revolution, it's the underpinning for the way we think, but it has little to do with the realities of societies today. And those societies that cling to its quaint but oversimplified tenets are struggling to work free of them without losing too much face.

There is a different kind of populism emerging, one required by the necessity of impending ecological disaster. I don't think the sky will fall, but the oil companies will keep gouging you at the pump. In the big cities (and even the small ones), there are too many people and each one of them has a car; put them all on the street at the same time and you have a transportation system that no longer works. People sit on the freeways in L.A. at rush hour, moving at 5 to 15 miles per hour (if they're lucky), complaining about the situation, burning expensive gas while idling in the fast lane: None of them will admit that the system has failed, fails daily, and none of them would consider the alternative of mass transit.

In Los Angeles, in Southern California, eschewing mass transit is a matter of overwhelming fear: xenophobia. Everyone has become so used to the safety and comfort of a two-ton steel cocoon embracing them from home to work to shopping to recreation to home that they have lost the art of conversation with strangers. And the government spin machine has invested nearly a decade into making everyone paranoid and terrified of anyone who can be classified as "other" (we don't call it racism anymore, but that's what it adds up to). We have become accustomed to spending thousands of dollars each month to purchase and maintain vehicle(s), insure it/them, feed it/them gas in order to avoid those "others" and retreat to the comfort of our air conditioned mobile armor.

Mass transit takes too much time. It's too crowded. It's too dangerous. It's smelly: There is a list of reasons why not to take mass transit even now, when it can transport faster than a private vehicle during rush hours in cities.

But it's obvious, at least in Los Angeles, that the answer is not more lanes of traffic. The answer is effective mass transit that doesn't rely on the same transit corridors that automobiles use. Light rail, subway, even monorail would be an effective alternative...IS an effective alternative. I take it each workday from Pasadena to the Wilshire Miracle Mile. It's a round trip of more than 20 miles and takes less than an hour...until I have to climb on a bus and get into traffic for the last three miles, which adds another 20 minutes to my commute.

My transportation cost is $62 a month, and I put less than 3,000 miles a YEAR on my car. I fill the tank once every five to seven weeks.

Electric-powered mass transit is a real solution for the future. Ride the train soon.

(Was that fucking boring or what?)

Sunday, May 4, 2008

A Moment to Write


Yes, I have a moment to write on Sundays. Above, see the lovely new logo for The Hollywood Reporter. For the last week, most of my time (both awake and sleeping) has been taken up with thoughts of the redesign. If you haven't seen the new redesign, do try and pick up a copy of The Reporter (if you're in L.A. or New York) and check it out. If you didn't read it before, then it probably has no meaning for you. For me, it has been a major preoccupation.

Good news for my cousin, Robin Riker, just informed me that she landed a juicy, four-year contract on "The Bold and the Beautiful." I wrote back, asking if she was a good witch or a bad witch. Haven't heard back yet. But, knowing soap operas, I would assume the latter, since good witches on those shows rarely get four-year contracts. Evil persists, though, because it's so terribly popular.

Was that an observation on the state of things? Brother Stephen in Wisconsin says he wants to see more commentary on the state of the world added into to the diarylike discourse I've been laying down in these missives. Here's one: Some people are real assholes. Especially when they're driving. They do things they'd never do in a million years if they were face to face with the folks that inhabit the road with them. At least on public transit people ignore you. Except the really crazy ones. They like to use their insanity to bother other people. It's their only feeling of empowerment.

Closing thought: The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. (-- Oscar Wilde)

Enjoy the logo. More later.

Friday, May 2, 2008

21st Century Communications

Once again I find it impossible to sign on to my blog site from my home computer, and I have been soooo busy at work that I don't have the few extra minutes to log something. This leaves me with my iPhone, upon which I am punching out this entry, short though it may be.

The relaunch went well. The first issue came out on Monday, April 28, and was well received. I have spent the week churning out charts, graphs and graphics to meet the new, more visual design. It can only get easier as we get used to the new production process.

Well, my finger is starting to experience poke fatigue, so I shall sign off. Perhaps this Sunday I can make another entry and address my brother Stephen' a criticism that this blog lacks real content.

As a final feat, I shall attempt to import a picture from the iPhone into the blog. If you don' t see one, it didn't work.

It didn't work.