Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Them That Can't...

We start with a picture of Patty, since she has become somewhat the star of our household in the last few weeks. And it also gives an upbeat visual for a post filled with sarcasm and criticism.

I had the most awful class today. I am retaking Flash, both basic (two days) and advanced (two days) Today, I took the first class. The gentleman teaching, who will remain unnamed because I am a gentleman, was probably the most horrible, boorish, insensitive and unknowledgeable instructor I have ever had. I left in the afternoon shaking my head and feeling a little pissed off. I am seriously thinking of canceling the rest of the repeat, just on the chance that he will be teaching the classes.

On color theory: "When they make a TV that uses CMYK instead of RGB, that will be it, because print has such vibrant colors." Where do I begin to point out the monumental ignorance displayed by that one statement? CMYK is subtractive color, RGB is additive; you can't mix CMYK using transmitted light, only reflective. RGB colors are far more brilliant than CMYK colors, since they are generated with transmitted light. I hope he doesn't teach Photoshop.

He showed us some of his Web sites and they were completely devoid of design knowledge or creativity; turns out he has high school students do the layouts, then he adds the interactivity.

He showed us all-Flash Web sites that were generated by expert teams of 20 to 150 designers, telling the students in front of him that it would take them a decade to learn Flash, and that they would never master it because it keeps getting more complicated. As you might guess, the overall effect on the students was rather demoralizing.

He wrapped up the class by telling this roomful of unemployed people who are retraining for a new career that the job market is flooded with Flash designers, and that they will never find a good job because everybody's using high school and college kids who will take $12 an hour because they live in their parents' basement.

The fact that this guy came off as a addle-brained blowhard loser who most likely is living in his parents basement didn't help. And what little knowledge he did impart during the six hours of class was fairly inconsequential.

Beware of any instructor who says the main point of the class is to have fun. I thought it was to learn the program and some of the theory behind it.

Okay. Enough character assassination for one entry.

Look! A kitty watching fish! How cute! (Actually, she is the first cat to show any interest in the fish at all.)

On some other fronts:

Hag Harbor is no more. The house that was the Moms' home for so many years sold last week, for cash, no less. This after being on the market for only about two weeks. What this means for me is a cash infusion right about the time my first extension on unemployment is expiring. I believe I'm elibigle for a second, but it will be nice to have a little monetary breathing room after almost a year of unemployment for me and underemployment for Steve (he still only works three days a week).

The refrigerator is 20 years old and rattles vehemently when it runs (which is most of the time), so that finally can get replaced. I need a new computer if I'm going to be designing Web sites with any consistency. The huge programs I have to run are starting to crash my current machine on a fairly regular basis.

And both of us need a vacation, very badly. It's been over two years since we had one together, so we're planning on a week up in Eureka in the old-growth redwood forests, since that's where I'm pitching as our retirement location.

And the IRA accounts could use a good infusion of contributions, since none have been made since I was laid off and Steve's work was cut back.

But, most of all, it means there's enough of a buffer that I don't have to feel desperate about getting employment immediately. I really want to make this next career move one in a positive direction, and not simply employment for the sake of a paycheck.

Still another side note: I broke down and purchased Adobe's "Classroom in a Book" for all four of the programs I'm going to get certified in (Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver and Flash). My instructor Ron (who's not the one described above) said if you have those texts under your belt you'll pass the certifications with flying colors, since they are what the exams are based on.

They certainly promise to be more comprehensive than the how-to oriented (and rather thin) texts they supply at New Horizons. Still, it's a really good school. If you're considering taking computer classes, it's a good choice.

The books should be here on Wednesday, so I will dive in and endeavor to memorize all of them. Luckily, a lot of the information is already stuffed neatly into my head, so it will just be clarifying areas that I'm missing on the Cert Blaster quizzes.

That's about it. We're due for some rain this Wednesday and Thursday, but not much, says the weatherman. Then another storm should blow through the Tuesday after that, also not a biggie. But it is nice to be getting precipitation so late into the beginning of the year. Other than that, it's been in the upper-70s, mid-80s and looks to stay that way.

After all, it's Southern California.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Spring Has Sprung, Grass has Riz

This just proves that hope springs eternal. The orchid plant has finally blossomed after years of semi-nurturing.

Monday was the second day of retaking the Dreamweaver Level 2 class, and I was glad I retook it. They're using new texts now, so it covers the subject matter in a slightly different way, and some things that were kind of skimmed over in the last text were spelled out a little more clearly this time around.

One of the services the school has is a set of programs called Cert Blasters, which are quizzes and drills that give you a thumbnail score on how you would have done on that portion of the final certification exams. You also get a list of chapters to review for the answers you missed. I'm pretty jazzed that I am getting 77 and 78 percent on these first time around, since the passing grade on the certification exams is 80 percent.

This week I continue to study at home. It's hard going, because the weather is just gorgeous this week. It's in the mid-70s every day, sunny, nice mild breeze, and I have to strap myself in behind the computer and study. Eeuk.

Friend Jon Jaeger in San Luis Obispo says I should take a vacation now that I've completed my Web site, and I really feel the urge to, but it just isn't in the cards right now. And the dreaded anniversary of my being made redundant (i.e., "laid off") at the Hollywood Reporter is coming up June 3. I'd really like to be back in the job market by then, or even have landed something significant in the way of employment.

I'm trying to look as "now" and technically savvy as possible for this job hunt. I even rigged the PDF of my resume so that it links directly to my Web site and my e-mail when you click on them on the page. I want to give every impression that you're getting a freshly trained Web designer who also has two decades of real-world experience in graphic design. One wants to appear a contemporary bargain, and not a ripening old fart.

The clock on the wall here in the office still says 10:27 p.m., even though it's coming up on midnight. It's such a pain to get back there and get it off the wall, and then even more difficult to try and get it back up on the nail. There are two computers in the room and both of them have quite accurate time and date displays. I'm really not sure why we have a wall clock at all. It's kind of old fashioned and ... old farty?

(Note to self: make sure always to check the time on my iPhone and don't wear my wristwatch in interviews.)

That's it. Enjoy the flowers.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Spring already, spring

It's gorgeous out today. I'm being disciplined and sitting at the computer studying. (Well, not right now, but that's another story).

After a couple weeks of on-and-off-again rain (which is what we call "winter" in California), it soared from nippy 60s into the upper 80s for the last few days. Today it is 77, which is my definition of perfect weather.

Here's a manipulated shot of the orchid budding. FINALLY! Kittie and David gave us this plant several years ago, and it floundered and never quite took off until we gave it a deep enough pot to live in. To the left is a shot of the plant from last June, when we repotted and, on the right, a picture from today. I had to stitch it together from two shots, because I couldn't get the whole plant into frame.

The buds are hovering about seven feet off the ground and have taken about three weeks to develop, but it looks like they might actually open on the first day of spring, which would be such good karma (but don't ask me why).

The studying is going well, and I'm finding out where the holes are in my knowledge of the graphics programs I have to be certified in. Like Photoshop: I have to study up on the animation functions in Photoshop.

ANIMATION!? Nobody uses Photoshop for animation; there are too many other programs out there better suited. But I have to learn enough about it to pass the exam. I forgot how dumb school is.

Steve and I took a day off yesterday and went into Hollywood to the Arclight theaters (the one with the Cinerama Dome incorporated into it) and saw "Avatar" in 3D. It was very beautifully done. The 3D was tastefully executed and, as with every other James Cameron movie, it was a half-hour too long. He is a very self-indulgent director. Just because you're a genius doesn't mean you can be tiresome.

Anyway, I don't see 3D taking over anytime soon. Most movies are better shown in 2D. Or perhaps my eyes are turning into old farts, just like the old folks I knew as a kid who said color movies were too garish, and they longed for the good old days of black-and-white and the studio system and Nazism and white supremacy: Zany old folks!

After the film, we went to the cafe at Arclight for dinner and got seated in what I call "the throne," a booth table all by itself in the far corner and a focal point of the room. We ate and watched the fabulous people congregate at the bar for pre-film drinks with the other fabulous people. I love Hollywood. You always see a few women dressed with painful trendiness, their hair perfectly tousled and they're with guys who look like white gangsta wannabes, sporting the grubbiest of clothes. I guess that means they're supposed to be geniuses, too, and dress that way to demonstrate their intense rebellious nowness.

Well, I've got to get back to the business of becoming certifiable. (And I'm nearly there, believe me.)

I'm trying to post on the blog a little more often than I have in the past, so if you don't get pictures, or the entry is really short, the overall strategy is to get people checking here more often by offering clever (if unnecessary) entries at least once or twice a week.

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Naming of Cats

Well, here she is; her big cyberdebut. It took her a day to come out from under the bed, then another half day to actually come out of the bedroom. She's adjusting very well, considering, and has turned into an totally restless affection junkie, but the bedroom is still her safe place.

Her name upon rescue was Patches. (Come on, calling a calico "Patches" is like calling a dog "Fido.") The woman at the cat shelter renamed her Patty, since it was close to Patches, and I have renamed her Pitty-Pat, in honor of Scarlett O'Hara's aunt in "Gone WIth the Wind" (Is that gay enough for everybody?). That also makes her Pitty-Pat the Kitty-Cat.

Just forget I mentioned any of that.

I named her for Patti Smith because she looks like a punk rocker. Yeah; that's the ticket.

I give up: she's Patty because Pat sounds too much like Cat, and she answers to it. You can get a pretty good look at her six-toed paws here (all four of them are hexadactyl). She's very weirdly colored, looking calico up front with hind quarters that are more tortoise-shell, and every one of her legs is a totally different color: A paintball wars terminator kitty.

She and the other cat, Marcel, still stare at one another on each encounter, eyes wide, making tiny, uncertain sounds back and forth. I think she's afraid of Marcel because he's really huge, and I think he's afraid of her with those claw-bearing snowshoes she has for feet. I had class today, so they were alone in the house, but I didn't see any evidence of blood spilled.

Twice this evening she came downstairs on her own volition, but we still have a litter box, water and food in the bedroom for her. That will definitely be going away by week's end.

Speaking of class, I retook the first day of the intermediate Dreamweaver course today (it's a two-day class), and I was amazed at how much of it I had retained from the last time. I almost nodded off once or twice because I was so far ahead of the rest of the class. The second session is next Monday, so I have time to work on the certification quizzes this week.

The rest of the week I'll be working from home, which will give Ms. Patty time to be brave with someone around to break up whatever feline altercations might emerge in the coming days. It's certainly more interesting than having Marcel moping around all on his own. He's 12 years old, she's 10 months old. I think they'll find some common ground somewhere. I mean, they're cats.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I Feel So Loved

I got a cat today. She was so sweet and loving at PetSmart. We put her in the carrier, got her home, and she's spent the time ever since sitting under the bed, just out of reach, so I can't even pet her. She's not freaked out, just extremely standoffish. I feel so loved.

Her name's Patty. That's what they called her at the cat rescue place, and I don't have a better name, so that's it for now. She's a 10-month-old, six-toed calico who comes with a free microchip (but I have to take her down to the vet to get it implanted). Spayed and with all her shots. The $110 donation was well worth it.

When Steve and I domestic partnershipped back in 2006, he had two cats already. As diligent readers of this blog will know, Buddy, the older, died last year. Since then, Marcel, also a mature cat, has made a point of being Steve's cat and lends me very little credence. Also, he's obviously bored and lonely by himself all day. So getting a new cat filled two purposes: It would give Marcel companionship during the day and would also give me a cat that would like me.

So just as soon as she decides to come out from under the bed, I'll get a picture of her and put it up here on the blog.

Thanks to everyone who sent me e-mails with typos on the Web site. I also went through each page with a fine-toothed comb and found several more myself. I got them corrected and updated the Web pages, so it should be as perfect as it's going to get.

The blog entry is going to be short tonight, because we lose an hour at 2 a.m., and I've got to make that up somewhere. I'd say don't forget to set your clocks back, but it will be a done deal by the time you read this. It'll be dark again when we get up in the early morning, but we'll have an extra hour of sun in the evening, so I guess it works out. And the weather promises to be gorgeous this week here, in the mid-70s to mid-80s. I guess, after the punctuated rain storms, spring has finally arrived.

Now to wait for the cat to emerge.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I Have a Web Site, Therefore I Am

Yeah, I know I haven't been writing in the past couple weeks here, but there's been a really good reason. School, first of all. I'm doing a lot of my studying at home now, since the labs at the Burbank facility are always overflowing, and unless you get there first thing in the morning, you'll have to wait around for someone to leave before you can get a station at which to work.

Second, and more important in an existential sense, is my Web site. I've been working on this daily for the last three weeks or so. Being my first Web site, every time I turned around there was something not working, something new to discover or learn about the coding, the styling of the text, links that didn't work, one character missing or added to code that threw everything off. And of course, everything on the site needed to be generated from scratch. Hundreds of pieces, big and small, that all had to be a very certain size and labeled and organized in a very certain way.

But it's done. The beta version of the site is up and running. I've made a few tweaks already, but it's pretty much there, as far as I can tell, and it works in every browser on which I've previewed it.

So take a look: www.markmcddesign.com. It's basically a place to showcase my design and writing work.

But it also has taught me a hell of a lot about the design process on the Web. It's very structured and not at all intuitive. You have to have a solid battle plan when you go in to start the work, and keeping things organized and well-labeled is of paramount importance.

Now that it's up and running, it's a big thing out of my hair, and opens my time up for hardcore studies getting ready for the ACE exams in May. Also, I promised cousin Robin that I would put together a site her for, so that's next on the list.

Hope everyone's doing well. Next entry, maybe I'll actually have some photos to share. The Web site will have to do for now, though. Enjoy.