Can I Get a Franchise?

I ran across this article on Facebook. Someone had posted it, and I finally followed the link. At first I was creeped out, then I thought it a stroke of genius. Now I'm just not sure what to think about it. Check it out here and let me know your reaction. (It will open in a separate window or tab, depending on your browser.)

On the other hand, not having had children, I'm not sure this would be such a horrible thing, especially once the word gets around among the kids and they know what's going down when it starts happening to them. Enjoy.

Updating Y'all

The orchids continue to bloom and bloom. Nothing's wilting, and looks like by real spring we'll have a spikeful.

Lots of stuff going on but nothing of great importance. I had a meeting with the job placement specialist at school yesterday, and she seemed to think things were looking up. At one point, she asked me, "Would you be willing to take a job in publication again?" I really had to think about that one. I've come to think of publishing as a quickly sinking ship, and I don't want to go through the experience of getting good at a job and liking it and then having my head served up to me on a platter once again.

Downer news of the day: Marcel, the older cat (the black one) went into the vets this afternoon. He was sneezing last week but it seemed to clear up. Then he got lethargic over the weekend (which is hard to tell, since he doesn't move a whole lot when he's healthy). Yesterday and today he was looking pretty grim, so we decided to put him through the trauma of a trip to the doctors. Upon examination, he had a really high fever and an Xray revealed a major infection in his intestines. Blood work will come back tomorrow morning, and we'll know more about his condition. He's 13, so we're ready for pretty much anything.

On the school front, I only have two class days left, and my contract at New Horizons ends on May 7. I've been studying with my Classroom in a Book texts from Adobe, and am almost through the Flash book. I'm glad I got these, as there are lots of things in these books that weren't even touched on in the New Horizon texts, lectures or labs. I figure I'll be through most of the books by the end of May, and will meet the anniversary of my termination date at the Reporter (June 3) retrained and ready for the job market once more.

Still no firm date on when the fumigation of the condo complex is going to take place. Until we have that set, we really can't plan on anything vacationwise. It's odd, but I'm hoping I don't get a job until we have a chance to take a week off. It's been so long since we had a vacation together, and after last year, we can both really use it.

Tomorrow is more studying. I'm hoping to get through the Flash book by the end of the week. Also, I have to bake cookies for the Dreamweaver class on Friday, since the teacher, Ron, was singing their praises to the class. (He said he thought I'd bought them somewhere because they were so perfect.)

Nothing much more to report. The days have been warm but on the cool side. There's a storm coming in next Tuesday, they're forecasting. I'll be finished with my classes by then. It seems like just last week it was November and I was starting classes in earnest. Now I'm looking forward to getting into a work environment with all this new knowledge and putting it to practical use.

Hope everyone's well and happy. I can see this is true for my Facebook folk; the rest of you, I have to rely on your e-mails or letters or comments here on the blog (hint-hint).

Ruining the Fun for Everyone Else

Just a note to let everyone know that I have added an extra step to leaving a comment.

Recently, I've been getting spam and crap loaded into the comments section that are obviously generated by a program and mean nothing, except maybe viruses are lurking.

So now when you leave a comment (you can leave a comment you know; it wouldn't kill you, you know), you will be asked to verify you are a real, nonmalicious, breathing human being by entering a word to validate the comment.

I just don't want visiting my blog to turn into some kind of horrible experience that puts spyware on your computer or turns it into a cyberzombie or something horrible like that.

Thanks for visiting!

Death in a Tent

I thought this image might be abstractly apropos for this week. Scary Easter bunny. If you're a regular reader, you'll notice that this is a recycled image. Whatever. I really didn't have anything of importance to show you from the old iPhone, so here ya go.

The title for this entry has to do with fumigation, which is something, it seems, our homey little condo complex needs to undergo ASAP. Seems they found termites in the building (not in our unit, I don't think, but they'd get here soon enough). So everybody gets to cough up $1,000 and move out for a weekend in July while they tent the place up and spew poisonous gases into our abodes.

Gotta bag up the food and wash all the plates and utensils before we use them after. Also, the aquarium needs to be sealed up, because I don't think we can find a place to board the fish. The cats can go live at Heavenly Pet Resort, The Best Little Cat House in Pasadena or The Cat's Pajamas. Whatever is cheapest.

As for us, this just might be the excuse we need to head up to Eureka for four or five days so Steve can check the town out and get an idea of the area and what it might be like to retire there. I trolled around some on line and found this picture. This is what I like about Eureka: there isn't this much green in all of Southern California. Also, cool days, ocean breezes, lots of rainy days and lush, lush forest everywhere you turn.

I've been pen-palling with one of the columnists at the local paper there, and she's given me some great pointers about places to visit, things to do, local hang-outs. Mostly, things that locals do every day, to get an idea of what it would be like to live up there. Also, there's a VA clinic and the state university and an airport just a few miles from the center of town.

The thing I like about it is the town has remained fairly unchanged since the end of World War II and, except for an influx of hippies and tree-huggers in the '70s and '80s, has remained a small town, even with the addition of an outlet mall at the south end of town.

We'll definitely fly up (there's even a daily direct flight out of LAX) and rent a car once we get up there. This will be nice, since we haven't had a real vacation for almost three years now.

So, look out vermin, here comes the Orkin man (or someone like him).

New Window on the World

On Friday afternoon, I finally broke down and got myself a replacement for the old Mac. (That sounds so much better than I went out and bought a new computer). The old one was getting a little hinky, working at near its capacity when running my graphic design programs, often getting weird when I started working with Javascript on Web pages. Also, I was getting near filling the hard drive, even with cleaning out the old files. I can give you lots of rationalizations for the purchase. Why I feel a need to, I'm not sure.

So here's a photo of the new machine next to the old one. It's got the 27-inch display, which is a godsend when it comes to working with the Adobe programs. They have dozens of panels, and often you need to have most or all of them open to get your work done. This gives me lots of real estate to keep the panels and still have two or three pages open at once to work on. It's really, really cool. And the computer games are giant on this one.

I don't know how the Apple design people do it, but when you purchase a new computer from them, it looks like the coolest, slickest thing you've ever seen. Then, after four or five years, it starts looking clunky next to the new machines they've produced. I can remember how 21st-century I thought my white iMac looked when I got it. Now looking at it next to the new machine, it looks somehow quaint and simple.

I haven't watched a DVD on the new machine yet. That will be for later. It also has a wireless keyboard and a wireless "magic mouse." The keyboard I'm not crazy about, since it doesn't have an expanded keypad, and I'll probably go back to the old wired one. The mouse is great, though. It's a solid white shell, like most Mac mouses, but it can tell when you're scrolling (run your finger up and down over the shell) and it also has a right-click capability, which is great for Dreamweaver and Flash, since they both has lots of right-click functions built into them.

The picture above is when I was "migrating" the old Mac to the new one. I ended up in a schizophrenic state, with two user names on the new machine, but all my information is available somewhere under one of the derivations of my name.

So, new toy; powerful toy; toy that could make me a nice piece of change. That's one of the things I like about learning Web design: I can do it at home in my robe, if I want to. Just gotta get people to pay me for it.

I have a class tomorrow, so it's up before the dawn. This means going to bed now. Now. I mean it.

The Package

We had an adventure today. And again, I begin the blog with a completely unrelated photo. This is the dieffenbachia on the patio. It looks like variegated ivy, but the plant guy told us it was a variety of dieffenbachia. The leaves are like paper and it dies back in a day if you don't keep it watered. I've been very conscientious about keeping it damp (the rains have really helped), and it's doing really well. Plant pride.

The planter was a purchase at the Arroyo Grande Strawberry Festival a few years back. I really like how they look together.

And now to the adventure.

As I mentioned in the last entry, I purchased the "Classroom in a Book" from Adobe for Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver and Flash. The books were supposed to arrive Wednesday, but all I found was a door hanger saying they had tried to deliver the package and no one was home. (Well, I was home.) I supposed they came first thing in the morning and I was still asleep. So having laid that guilt on myself for sleeping late, I figured they would try to deliver again today (the door hanger said so).

Just to make sure, we double-checked the buzzer at the security gate outside to make sure it was working. It was.

So today, we waited. And waited. Around 1 p.m., I suggested Steve go out and pick up something for lunch and I'd wait for the guy to show. Steve left and I was sitting in the living room when I heard what sounded like a Fed Ex truck. I dashed to the window just in time to see the truck driving off down the street. I went out to the gate and our neighbor was there checking her mail. There was another damn door hanger from Fed Ex. The gate had been open, a neighbor had been present, he could have come in and knocked on the door. I suppose their services don't extend that far these days. He obviously didn't use the buzzer.

Anyhow, the hanger said we could pick up the package between six and seven p.m. at the central facility, which is south of downtown L.A. near the rail tracks leading into Union Station. So we decided to go down there and retrieve the package rather than risk another no-buzz, no-delivery session and having the package returned to sender.

It's actually an easy drive. It's just down the Pasadena Freeway, which I have a love/hate relationship with. I love it because it was the very first freeway and meanders from downtown out to Pasadena. It's about as pastoral as a freeway can get. Also, the onramps actually have stop signs, since the top speed was originally 45 mph.

But I hate it because it's a freeway, now filled with insane L.A. rush-hour drivers ripping through the unbanked curves as we drove down to FedEx. We exited on the tiny offramp at Avenue 43, swung down to Avenue 26, then over to San Fernando Boulevard, where the facility is located.

About 100 yards from the entrance, we were stuck in heavy, traffic. Suddenly, there was a crunch and a hefty lurch forward as the SUV behind us hit our car.

Steve blurted an colorful expletive and pulled over to the curb as I pushed the button for the emergency flashers. He got out, as did the other driver, and they checked the cars. No damage to either one, but they swapped information in any case.

This was all taking place in bumper-to-bumper traffic. And with all that, we still arrived at Fed Ex about half an hour early. Then it took about an hour for the truck with my package to return, but I did retrieve the package, finally.

To treat ourselves, we stopped at Sizzler and had the salad bar. (Mmmm...beets).

What excitement! I now have the books and look forward to diving into the material tomorrow.

I have my highlighter ready and everything.

Them That Can't...

We start with a picture of Patty, since she has become somewhat the star of our household in the last few weeks. And it also gives an upbeat visual for a post filled with sarcasm and criticism.

I had the most awful class today. I am retaking Flash, both basic (two days) and advanced (two days) Today, I took the first class. The gentleman teaching, who will remain unnamed because I am a gentleman, was probably the most horrible, boorish, insensitive and unknowledgeable instructor I have ever had. I left in the afternoon shaking my head and feeling a little pissed off. I am seriously thinking of canceling the rest of the repeat, just on the chance that he will be teaching the classes.

On color theory: "When they make a TV that uses CMYK instead of RGB, that will be it, because print has such vibrant colors." Where do I begin to point out the monumental ignorance displayed by that one statement? CMYK is subtractive color, RGB is additive; you can't mix CMYK using transmitted light, only reflective. RGB colors are far more brilliant than CMYK colors, since they are generated with transmitted light. I hope he doesn't teach Photoshop.

He showed us some of his Web sites and they were completely devoid of design knowledge or creativity; turns out he has high school students do the layouts, then he adds the interactivity.

He showed us all-Flash Web sites that were generated by expert teams of 20 to 150 designers, telling the students in front of him that it would take them a decade to learn Flash, and that they would never master it because it keeps getting more complicated. As you might guess, the overall effect on the students was rather demoralizing.

He wrapped up the class by telling this roomful of unemployed people who are retraining for a new career that the job market is flooded with Flash designers, and that they will never find a good job because everybody's using high school and college kids who will take $12 an hour because they live in their parents' basement.

The fact that this guy came off as a addle-brained blowhard loser who most likely is living in his parents basement didn't help. And what little knowledge he did impart during the six hours of class was fairly inconsequential.

Beware of any instructor who says the main point of the class is to have fun. I thought it was to learn the program and some of the theory behind it.

Okay. Enough character assassination for one entry.

Look! A kitty watching fish! How cute! (Actually, she is the first cat to show any interest in the fish at all.)

On some other fronts:

Hag Harbor is no more. The house that was the Moms' home for so many years sold last week, for cash, no less. This after being on the market for only about two weeks. What this means for me is a cash infusion right about the time my first extension on unemployment is expiring. I believe I'm elibigle for a second, but it will be nice to have a little monetary breathing room after almost a year of unemployment for me and underemployment for Steve (he still only works three days a week).

The refrigerator is 20 years old and rattles vehemently when it runs (which is most of the time), so that finally can get replaced. I need a new computer if I'm going to be designing Web sites with any consistency. The huge programs I have to run are starting to crash my current machine on a fairly regular basis.

And both of us need a vacation, very badly. It's been over two years since we had one together, so we're planning on a week up in Eureka in the old-growth redwood forests, since that's where I'm pitching as our retirement location.

And the IRA accounts could use a good infusion of contributions, since none have been made since I was laid off and Steve's work was cut back.

But, most of all, it means there's enough of a buffer that I don't have to feel desperate about getting employment immediately. I really want to make this next career move one in a positive direction, and not simply employment for the sake of a paycheck.

Still another side note: I broke down and purchased Adobe's "Classroom in a Book" for all four of the programs I'm going to get certified in (Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver and Flash). My instructor Ron (who's not the one described above) said if you have those texts under your belt you'll pass the certifications with flying colors, since they are what the exams are based on.

They certainly promise to be more comprehensive than the how-to oriented (and rather thin) texts they supply at New Horizons. Still, it's a really good school. If you're considering taking computer classes, it's a good choice.

The books should be here on Wednesday, so I will dive in and endeavor to memorize all of them. Luckily, a lot of the information is already stuffed neatly into my head, so it will just be clarifying areas that I'm missing on the Cert Blaster quizzes.

That's about it. We're due for some rain this Wednesday and Thursday, but not much, says the weatherman. Then another storm should blow through the Tuesday after that, also not a biggie. But it is nice to be getting precipitation so late into the beginning of the year. Other than that, it's been in the upper-70s, mid-80s and looks to stay that way.

After all, it's Southern California.