In Between the Holidays

Four days to go until Christmas, and I'm feeling very little holiday cheer.

It's not that I'm depressed (although I do get that way sometimes), just that I haven't really invested anything into the season this year. My one effort was driving up the coast this week to visit with Vena and get together with some other old friends while I was in the area, but it really wasn't holiday oriented or inspired. And, as usual, I took nary a photograph to share.

I avoided driving in the storms we had last weekend, waiting until Wednesday to head up to Grover Beach/Pismo Beach. As Kittie and David both had plans that night, I spent the evening with Vena.

Vena and I have become kind of a support group of two, both having lost a spouse in the last year. I was surprised that we were sharing things, finding common experience in our separate griefs, and feeling much less isolated from the world, feeling much less alone now that the person who was always there by default is permanently absent.

After some egg nog at her house, we went out to Old Juan's in Oceano for dinner, which was Vena's treat. I dropped her off at home and then headed back to the motel.

Thursday morning I slept in, and after having "brunch" at the Denny's next door to the Motel 6, I walked over to the outlet mall. Window shopping was about as close as I got to the merchantile Christmas spirit this year.

Thursday evening there was a get-together planned at Marilyn Blake's house. I got my facts screwed up and ended up arriving an hour early. Marilyn was out walking her dog, so there was no one there when I arrived. After sitting in the car for a half hour, I called Kittie, who informed me that people were arriving at 5:30-6:00, not 4:30-5:00. I sat back and played games on my phone until someone arrived. It turned out that Marilyn walked right past my car (she knew my red Mazda but not Steve's white Saturn, which is what I drive now).

So Marilyn, Kittie, David's sister, Susan, Lisa and Elaine all dropped by. We had some wine and ordered pizzas after David arrived. It was really great to see everyone, and I left feeling connected to all the things that I've been and done, and not just this last year of stress and grief. Several people mentioned that I should get involved in theater again in La Crosse, because I was the best director they had ever worked with.

These are the things I need to be reminded of, because I often forget that there's a lot more than web sites and brochures I excel at creating. As my design professor told me after seeing my stage production of "The Hot L Baltimore," "As a creative force, you're very good on paper, but you're much better on stage."

After the powwow at Marilyn's, Kittie, Dave and Dave's sister and I met at their house in Grover Beach, and I soon headed back to the motel to crash, as I was heading back to Pasadena late Friday morning. It was a quick trip up, but it was mostly to see Vena, because I know how isolated and disengaged she's feeling right now.

It took me less than three hours to drive up, and it was almost four hours heading back, as there were about a half dozen stretches where the traffic was stall-and-crawl (more descriptive than stop-and-go) on the 101. When I got back home, even though I had been gone only two days, Patty was hiding upstairs. A lovely can of fresh cat food was enough to draw her downstairs, and after some time, she was demanding that I make up for all the petting sessions she had missed during my absence.

And now, a holiday interlude from 1963. If Ed Wood Jr. had made a Christmas movie, this would be it. It also provides an insight into what the youth of the 1960s were rebelling against.



Good times. Can anyone say "mealy insipid sexist doggerel"?

While visiting, I suggested to Kittie and David that they come down for New Year's Day, since this was probably the last time we would be able to see the Rose Parade live. At first I was thinking we could go down and stake out a place, sleep on the curb overnight and catch the parade. The more I thought about it, the more I thought the expense of the tickets would be worth having a warm bed the night before. So I checked it out with Sharp Seating (a fellow chamber member and directory advertiser) and ended up getting three tickets in one of the grandstands fairly close to here (it's about an eight-block walk). Not bad for so close to the event.

I have always avoided going down and attending the parade live, as many locals have told me that you get a better view watching it on TV. So this year will be an experiment: I'm going to record the parade on TV, then head down and watch it live and see if they're right. In the end, though, I want to be able to tell folks that, having lived in Pasadena, yes, I did see the Rose Parade in person.

So we'll celebrate New Year's Eve in a very sober manner, hitting the sack right after toasting in the New Year and rising early in time to bake some cinnamon rolls, make some coffee and head down to our viewing stand. Hopefully, Dave will be able to get Friday the 2nd off, so they can stay the weekend rather than having to head back home on the 1st.

If they do leave on New Year's Day, it's a delicate thing: you have to leave between the mass exodus after the parade and before the influx of folks heading to the Rose Bowl for the game. Most years, Steve and I would simply spend New Year's Day at home and wait for the world to vacate the area and leave us to ourselves here in Pasadena.

So I'm thinking that Christmas will just be another day off for me this year. All the decorations are boxed and ready for the move. I do have the tinsel tree from last year, which I plan on deploying sometime in the next few days. Other than that, I want to spend the next week collecting and organizing all the paperwork from this year, so that I'm ready to face the new year (and my 2014 tax return) with confidence.

One tradition I don't want to slip up on, though, is providing my favorite stop-action holiday animation, "Insect's Christmas." It's my holiday greetings to you all.



Hopefully, next year I'll have a more extravagant holiday rejoicing to share. An I will remember to take pictures, too.