Vampire Zombie Home Sales

My life since the last entry here has been upside down, jumbled and disorienting.

To start with, I've had wild swings in my sleep, often going to bed at 6 a.m., waking at 2 p.m. and spending the afternoon half-heartedly addressing the chores needing to be done around the house. With no real human contact and no real desire to seek it out, I sit here on my own and cannot shake the belief that Steve is somewhere in the house; that I am not alone, merely on the wrong floor.

Add to that the bizarre dreams I've been having, and I often feel like I'm ready to go off the deep end. I'm not, of course, but the dreams have kind of pointed to the quality of my mental state these days.

All of the dreams have to do with life in a post-apocalyptic society; not so extreme as "Mad Max" or "World War Z," and there is no feeling of threat or danger, just a new order to things. And, after all, isn't that what I've been going through in the last year or so? The upshot of all the dreams is that I want thing to go back to the way they were.

My Realtor sent over a guy to measure the house, so now they have a floor plan generated for the place. Tomorrow the screen guy is coming over to measure and start in on the new screens. The Realtor's photographer is scheduled to come by on Friday and shoot the house for the MLS listings and the website. Jan (the Realtor) is wanting to get the place shown the week after.

It's kind of a rock-and-a-hard-place issue for me. Part of me wants to move, part of me wants to hide, but none of my wants to stay here as a solution to things. Intellectually, I know that I can't continue on with life without making a major change.

So I now have the sleeping habits of a vampire and the social skills of a zombie. I don't think that will change much until people are actively coming through the house. I find that things that push me into getting work done is desirable because they provide me with deadlines. Now is when I wish I had a job to go to because it would provide me with routine and force me into scheduling my time.

But I don't. That kind of circadian schedule lies at the other end of the trip to La Crosse. I know that normalcy will return once I'm out from under the place that Steve and I shared. And I know that he would completely understand that, and hopefully be flattered that his departure instigated so much change in my life. It's up to me to make sure the change is progressive and expansive.

Not my best blog entry, I know, but I wanted to put something up to let everyone I'm still in the game.