I'm Still Here

Last weekend Steve and I went to Disneyland with friends Steve and Roberto. These are folks we really like and we never seem to get around to doing anything with them. We had a really great time, but I don't have any of the photos with me, so I'll elaborate on that later when I have a chance for a flashier layout.

The biggest news today is buying a ticket to go visit my brother Steve (seen here coveting his first birthday present) and his brood in Ettrick, Wisconsin.

I'm visiting in early May before the Cannes Film Festival starts (it's a biggie and loads of people leave the office, so all bodies left are needed to pick up the slack for those basking in the south of France). I don't know what one does in Wisconsin, but I'm betting there will be cheese, sausages and/or alcohol connected to the activity. Sounds like fun.

My Steve's new job seems to be going well. If he ever figures out how to get back on this blog (I can't figure it out, either), I'm sure he'll tell you all about it.

Bummer of the Week: My Mac computer at home just won't turn on.

Bright Spot of the Week: I found instructions on the Apple Web site on how to troubleshoot the problem. Either it will be all better or I'll be taking the machine in tomorrow to get a new power supply installed. We shall see.

Dates for the "Arsenic & Old Lace" reader's theater have been set. Now all we need is a cast and somewhere to perform. Sister Kittie is handling those logistics. It will happen on Saturday, May 16, the Lord willing and the river don't rise.

God that's pithy. Sounds like something you'd say in Wisconsin.

Court and Parks

I keep telling myself that I'm not writing more blog entries because I never have any pictures. Then there are times when I say I'm not writing because nothing exciting ever happens. I think it comes down to the fact that I have to get the time to compose my thoughts, plan out the subjects of the blog and then sit down and write.

So it's been over a month. A couple things come to mind. First is the week we didn't go to Disneyland.

As some of you might know, I get four press passes to both Disneyland and California Adventure (the two parks at the Disneyland Resort) once a year. In February, Steve and I invited a gay couple we knew from the Reyne, a coffee shop we frequent on Saturday mornings. At the last minute, they backed out, saying they had plans to attend a play that evening with other friends and had just completely forgotten: Scratch those two off the A list.

Luckily, the Disney Media Office had crossed wires and didn't confirm the tickets until Friday, when I am not in the office, so I had a chance to save them for another day. Steve and I decided to go to Universal Studios, since I had never been there and he hadn't been in quite literally decades. They were having a special: buy entry to the park and get an annual pass.

We took the Studio Tour, which goes around the back lot, and got to see the area they're rebuilding since the major fire of last year (see blog entry of 6/1/08). I do have to admit that the back lot was much junkier looking than I thought it would be. The biggest part of the it seemed to be the exteriors for "Desperate Housewives," which is called Wisteria Lane or something like that. Of course, the tour included the collapsing bridge and the earthquake in the subway station and the Jaws shark in a lake. On the whole, it was interesting, and I can see how someone not familiar with Hollywood and eager to visit would be terribly impressed.

The second thing we did was go on the Simpsons ride, which was pretty fun. It's the old Back to the Future ride that's been revamped with a CG treatment of the Simpsons. The waiting area (aka "the line") was almost as fun as the ride, what with clips from past shows being shown overhead. The whole thing is supposedly Krustyland and there's a backstory with Sideshow Bob and a leaky nuclear reactor. If you don't follow the TV show, it would probably not mean a lot to you.

After the Simpsons ride, we stopped and had Benny & Jerry soft-serve ice cream (yes, such a thing does exist), and it wasn't too bad. All in all it was fun, for a day trip, but my back was bothering me (I pulled a muscle earlier that week), so we didn't get to check out City Walk as much as I would have liked. But now we have the passes, so going back is just a train ride away.

Steve is still actively working on the job search. He is sending out resumes almost daily. There are jobs out there, but there are also lots and lots of people vying for them. It's been ten years since I was unemployed, but I still remember the frustration of it all. We're doing OK financially and, between my paycheck and his unemployment, we haven't had to dip into savings or cut back too much on the good things. Our entire tax return did go to bills, though, instead of a new bamboo floor for the living room and dining room, as we were planning, and a vacation is pretty much out of the question for the near future. If those are the biggest sacrifices we have to make, we are indeed blessed.

The other big thing of late was, of course, the oral arguments before the California Supreme Court last Thursday concerning Proposition 8. (They look like a nice bunch of folks, don't you think?) The proceedings were streamed live online, and the Web sites that carried them were overwhelmed. I got onto the calchannel.com site, but Steve at home was unable to connect to any of them. I only missed about a half-hour of the three-hour-plus affair. It was quite interesting and I understand the conundrum the court finds itself in.

On the one hand, by overturning the proposition, they would be setting a precedent of limiting the power of the citizens to amend the constitution, which is a very bad thing. But by letting the proposition stand, they would be writing civil discrimination into the constitution, which is an even badder thing.

Also, if they uphold the proposition but let the same-sex marriages performed before its passage stand, the state would have licensed marriages that were legally valid but not recognized by the state. That's way too schizophrenic for me, and hopefully the court as well.

The Governator says he wants to see the proposition overturned. One of the cases before the court here was brought by a large group of municipalities and counties in California asking the proposition be overturned.

The amicus curiae briefs have flowed into the court from every which way. The list is as long as your arm and the vast majority of them back overturning the proposition. Even the attorney general, who is supposed to argue for the amendment, since it is now in the constitution, said it should be overturned and actually argued against it before the court.

My personal take on it: The court has overturned amendments because they brought about a change governmental structure, and that requires constitutional revision, not merely amendment. I think they should overturn this amendment and set the precedent that only revisions can be used to alter basic rights laid out in the constitution; amendments cannot be used for that purpose. However it washes out, we shall have a decision by June.

Another real nifty idea, I think, is to revise the constitution so that amendments can only be made by a two-thirds majority vote rather than a simple minority.

On the home front, Arroyo Grande-wise, we are planning a reader's theater, invitation-only performance of "Arsenic and Old Lace" starring the two moms. I bought a copy of the script, and Steve and I have been taking turns entering it into my computer so we will have large-type copies for the reading. Also, I've had to add a narrator to describe a lot of the action and bits that go on in the show. There's no set date yet, but if you want an invitation, please drop a line to me or Paula (my mom) or Kittie Vicars (my sister) and we will keep you informed on the when and where of the performance.

And looking ahead to next weekend, Steve and I are going to Disneyland, this time with a more reliable couple we know. The four of us keep saying we're going to get together and do something, but it's only happened once. The offer of free tickets was motivation enough, I guess, to plan a get-together next Saturday. I'll be doing a little more research to find out what's going on in the two parks and hopefully plan things out for the day. We're all really looking forward to it, and if we remember to take the camera, I'm sure there will be a posting here about it sometime soon.

So there you go, a really humungus blog entry to make up for all the little ones I haven't made. Perhaps I will be more diligent about keeping this up to date and timely with more regular entries. And, of course, your feedback keeps me motivated, so let me know when you've visited the site.

Other Than That, How Was the Play, Mrs. Lincoln?

A fan of this blog e-mailed yesterday and asked why I hadn't made any entries recently. No, it's not because awards season is overwhelming (though it is), but because such wonderful things have been happening in our lives recently.

On Dec. 20, our big screen plasma TV started going really buggy, so we called a TV repair service and they came and took it away: Probably back by the day after Christmas, we were told. We never saw it again.

With all of the tactics that repair shops in general use, they stalled week by week until, finally on the 12th of January, they said that the set could not be fixed. The plasma plate display was corrupt and would have to be replaced, which would cost as much as a new set. They then requested another $30 to return the set to us unfixed. We told them to go fuck themselves.

In the interim we had a lovely Christmas. Steve gave me a Blu-Ray disc player (ironic because we had no television with which to enjoy it). We went out and purchased a 19" flatscreen at a very reasonable price, so we weren't denied video fare, but it was like watching a postage stamp.

The first week in January, Steve was fired from his job. The boss was a psychotic on too much medication. Steve had been there for six months and 15 of the 20 staff employees (including the company president) had been fired during his tenure. I was not terribly surprised, since it was just a matter of time. It had nothing to do with how competent or effective Steve was in the job in reality, because the boss was just not in touch with reality. In any case, that was the second big stroke of shitty luck. The third was when Steve's car went in for maintenance and leaky front seals were found on the wheels, which costs $900 to fix, we discovered.

When we received the death sentence on the television, being good consumers, we decided to go out and replace it. This time we got an LCD, which uses much less energy. It also came with a new home theater system. All our components are now Sony, and we have them connected with HDMI cables, so they talk to one another. I have a suspicion they are talking about us. In any case, we now are renting Blu-Ray discs from Netflix and having wonderful high-definition viewing experiences. I'm also getting the Oscar nominees on screener DVDs from work, so we're able to watch those as they come my way.

Last week, the upstairs toilet blocked up, all of a sudden and for no apparent reason. Responsible homeowners, we went out and purchased a plumber's snake and attempted to dislodge the block, but toilets don't seem to be designed to allow the snake to pass through to the sewer pipes. Steve went out and bought some enzyme type of unclogger and we dutifully spent three days dumping this eco-friendly stuff down the loo, but to no avail. Steve asked his friend John, who is familiar with toilet troubles, to come over and assist in the diagnosis and repair of the problem. (Luckily, we have a downstairs half bath, so we weren't without facilities.)

On this last Sunday, I drove my car into work and stopped at the Subway shop just around the corner to pick up lunch before I went into work. When I went back out to the car, it would not start. I could tell it was a dead battery. So I walked over to the office, put my lunch away and called AAA roadside service. After half an hour they arrived with a huge flatbed truck that blocked everyone in the parking lot (and they all complained quite heartily).

I told the fellow I needed a jump start and he insisted on listening to the engine. I attempted to turn it over, whereupon he announced that I needed a jump. He did so and, after 10 minutes of running the engine, I headed into the parking structure at work. I went down every two hours and ran the car for a while, just to keep the battery charged. After work the car started successfully and I was able to make it back home. It's been sitting in the garage since. I rarely use it, since I take the train and subway into work most days, so a new battery is a low priority in my mind.

This week John came over and helped in the ongoing effort to unclog the toilet but was unsuccessful. His opinion was that the toilet was old and calcium deposits were blocking the flow in the toilet itself. So Steve went down to OSH and purchased a new toilet and, handyman that he is, installed the thing himself. The tank was leaking at the bolts.

The next day (Friday) I am normally off work, so we went and got some silicone epoxy and sealed the bolts. The toilet flushed once, then started backing up again. Today, we took the new toilet off and ran the snake directly down the pipe, hit the blockage but it would not budge. Upon pouring a bucket of water in, it backed up again. Our last hope was to get some kickass Drano type cleaner and see if it would do the job. We did so.

Upon returning home, we pulled out the snake to put in the Drano and up came a sock clinging to the end of the snake. Seems it had fallen in during laundry day (the hamper is directly across from the toilet) and no one had noticed.

So this sock is pictured here because it presents an icon for the last weeks since I wrote in this blog: smelly and covered with shit and God knows what and disrupting the true and free low of things as they should be.

On the up side, we are now capable of handling any kind of drain blockage that might befall us in the future. And Steve has had numerous projects to distract him from brooding on his employment status.

Actually, he has already had one interview with the Pasadena Humane Society, is registered with a temp-to-hire firm here in town which specializes in accounting, and has had a request from another firm which is looking to add a full-charge bookkeeper. It's an accounting firm with, hopefully, no psychotic bosses or supervisors.

Also on the up side, we are adhering to our New Year's resolution to lose weight. I've dropped 10 pounds and Steve has dropped eight since the first of the year and the diet is becoming easy to manage. We're doing Atkins, and I adapted a recipe for New York cheesecake to make it low carb, and it really is impossible to tell it from the real thing. It helps us in keeping on keeping on.

Another New Year's resolution I made was to learn the program Dreamweaver, which is an authoring program for the Web. I figure if my head is on the block at work any time soon, I'll be ready to hit the workforce, since all the ads I see for designers and art directors require full knowledge of web applications as well as graphics programs. Welcome to the 21st century. Also, I want to be able to design a site to promote myself. And if I do get laid off from work, I get a nice severance package with seven weeks full pay. But I'm not focusing on that, since I'm painfully valuable to the Reporter.

So here's a really long blog entry to keep you occupied and bring you up to date. Sorry the sock is the only picture, but we don't have much else to show you. Who takes pictures of broken objects and frustrating moments?

On the marriage front, our connubial existence is still in limbo with the California Supreme Court weighing a plethora of briefs submitted over the whole Proposition 8 debacle. We understand sometime in April or May is probably when they will hand down their decision on whether the proposition is legal and, if so, whether our marriage (performed before the proposition passed) is binding or not.

Be happy. Keep in touch. I'll try to add to this blog more regularly in the coming year. Oh great; another resolution.

Happy F'in' Christmas

"What the hell have they been doing? It's been over a month since the last blog entry. Maybe they got arrested at that protest. Good God, I told him to settle for domestic partnership. What the hell were they thinking?"

Well, no we didn't get arrested. The California Supreme Court did take up the cases seeking to overturn Proposition 8, and there should be some kind of decision next March. Until then, Steve and I are thinking positive and assuming that our marriage is legally intact and viable in the State of California.

So now for a kind of whirlwind update of what's been going on since the rally downtown on Nov. 15.

For Thanksgiving, we went up to the moms' (or, existentially, the mom's) for Thanksgiving. Sister Kittie did all the cooking, and we had a lovely dinner with Steve and myself and Kittie and David and my mom and Bob Waltz, who is a longtime theater friend of the family from San Luis Obispo.

Steve and I stayed at the Shelter Cove Inn, which is just north of Pismo Beach, right on the ocean. We had grand unobstructed ocean views from the room, since the bluff outside our window was a wildlife santuary. Our first morning there, we woke up to two Peregrin Falcons flying over the bluff looking for mousey goodies and such to eat.

Aunt Kit was not in attendance for Thanksgiving, since she had fallen a few weeks earlier and broken her back. OUCH. Sister Kittie had taken her to the emergency room, and she had spent the last several weeks in hospital, having been transferred to a care home for her physical therapy. On Thanksgiving evening, we all went down and visited her. Her roommates were a dotty wailing woman who made no sense at all (I thought she had visitors, but she was just making noises to herself) and a deaf woman who has taken advantage of her affliction by using it to shut out the rest of the world. Not the best roomies, by a longshot, but hopefully she'll be in more amenable surroundings sometime soon. We all wish her the best.

The time with Mom and Sister Kittie and her husband Dave was really nice. I have been up there a couple times this year, but Steve, since he hasn't had vacation time yet this year, had not. So this was his first chance to meet the new dog, Goldie, who is a real sweetheart. After Alfie and Annie (who were both kind of damaged goods when it comes to the pet department), it's nice to have such a true-blue doggie buddy watching over the moms' house. Although I'm sure she'd be an absolute pushover for a burglar with a steak.

The first week in December, there was another cutback at The Reporter, and about a third of the remaining staff was laid off. Luckily, I was not among them. The editor told me, in fact, that my name was not actively brought up as a potential cut. I'm beginning to thing I'm indispensable, but that's not a wise thing to assume. Lesley, my best buddy on the copy desk, was laid off, even though I consider her one of the most comptent of the copy editors.

It took a couple of days to get over the shock of losing so many coworkers ($1.8 million worth in salary). At some point, I decided that, since I was blessed with employment, I should spend as freely as possible this holiday season, and that's how I started my shopping.

I spent a whopping $60 to create a garland for over the dining room window. I spent $50 on wrapping paper and ribbons. (While at the store, I ran across these giant ornaments; they're actually a deposit box for toy donations for the holidays.)

In the interim, I got a picture of cat Buddy sleeping with his Elf and Teddy Bear buddies. We also spent a weekend (and then some) putting up and decorating the Christmas tree. It's an artificial tree, and on its last legs. We went down to Stats (a local decoration place here in Pasadena) to get the makings for the garland, and took a look at some very nice artificial trees which lookoed almost real...and cost about $500 for a six-footer. That expense, I'm afraid, will have to wait until next holiday season: That employed I am not.

So this is probably the last blog I will be writing for the rest of the year. A Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and all the best in the new year. After throwing our shoes at Bush (I did as soon as I was given the idea, but they only got across the living room and nowhere near Washington, D.C.), things can only rise.

So I can say I feel truly blessed this holiday season: This year, I got to marry the man that I love; a thing I thought would never happen. And although there are lots of narrow-minded people out there trying to take that away, the light of the fact shines as brightly as ever. Equality is only a matter of time and perseverance. And the love doesn't change, no matter how it's enveloped by social status. And there is so much hope just waiting to explode into change this next year, I am eager to see what happens once the carbunkle Bush is gone from our capital forever.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Waiting for the World to Change

On Saturday, Steve and I, along with 14,000 or so other disgruntled folks, collected near City Hall in downtown L.A. to protest the passage of Proposition 8. (Included in this blog are signs from rallys all over the nation: Seattle, Washington, D.C., New York and here in L.A. Some of them are pretty funny, if you ask me.)

Wisely, we chose to take the Gold Line into town rather than driving in. We got at the rally location about 10:20, 10 minutes before the rally was to begin. Almost immediately, we ran into Lesley, a coworker who has been gently encouraging me to get involved in the demonstrations which have been taking place almost daily since November 4.

We had a pretty good place right near the stage up against the barricade. Not only did we get good views of the speakers, but a couple of them came right through the crowd in front of us, including out esteemed chief of police, William Bratton. The best speaker, however, was Mayor Villaregosa, a person who has been behind the gay community from the very first. Here's our first Hispanic president, in my mind.

It felt really good to be out there yelling with thousands of other people, knowing that hundreds of rallies like this were being held at the very same time all over the country and in foreign cities as well. But in a lot of ways, it was like preaching to the choir. The minds we needed to change had already voted, and the next and nearest hope was the overturning of the proposition by the state Supreme Court.

So after the high of people together to make action happen, I feel as though I'm sitting around, watching and waiting to see what will happen next.

On Sunday, CBS had an hourlong interview with Barack and Michelle Obama and I had a chance to feel good all over again about his win over McCain. But there, too, we're sitting around waiting for him to take office, for the real change to begin.

And that's what it's boiling down to for me now, waiting. Waiting for the Supreme Court to make a move. Waiting to see what direction needs to be taken. Waiting to see if our marriage, only a few months old now, is going to be wiped out. Waiting to see if we're going to be robbed of that very special moment when we felt a respect and dignity anointing out joining together. That's really what the proponents of 8 want to rob us of; being able to feel like complete people whose love is honored and cherished as much as anyone else's.

We Can All Join In

You have probably seen the daily demonstrations that have been taking place in and around Los Angeles since the passage of Proposition 8. It's good to see this kind of groundswell occurring spontaneously. All of this has been organized on the Internet, with times and locations being generated daily. Well, now's your chance to get involved on a national level. No matter where you live, there will be rallies and protests organized in every state in the union.

The protests will be held on Saturday, November 15 at 1:30 East Coast, 12:30 Central, 11:30 Mountain and 10:30 West Coast time. Check out the Join the Impact Web site for a site near you. They also list public transit alternatives for getting to the rallies.

So everyone who can, join in and let the nation hear that it's about time for equal rights; acceptance, not merely tolerance.

It's about time for another groovy revolution.

Jubilation and Devastation

On Tuesday, America made it clear that race was no longer the issue it used to be. In an overwhelming electoral majority, the people of this land elected their first African-America president. In that moment, every black American realized that they could be anything they wanted; that the doors were no longer closed. Racially, the millennium had arrived for the descendants of American slaves. Blacks were no longer niggers. They had pride and hope as their personal possessions. When I saw their reactions on the television coverage of this historical event, I cried with them, recalling the struggles and sacrifices of the equal rights movements of the 1960s.

In the same moment, here in California, the electorate passed a constitutional amendment that eliminated the newly born right of gays and lesbians to marry the people they love. Here in California, by embedding it into the very Constitution that guides the state and its citizens, Californians created a new class of niggers: Fags and dykes. The words are all interchangeable and all define a separate and less equal class of citizens. And the 18,000 same-sex couples who were married during those four and a half months of equality (including yours truly) now have licenses and vows that are in legal limbo.

When I got up this morning and heard the results (52% yes, 48% no), I was devastated. I was angry. I was depressed. I was resentful. I had a mild urge to go out and firebomb a Mormon temple or a Catholic church or some such edifice of Bible-driven bigotry. I was going to call into work and take a day off because I was so upset. But then, I realized I would just sit at home and stew, making myself more miserable and not achieving anything. So I went to work.

On the train in, I looked at the people riding with me: Did she vote yes? Did he vote yes? Does he look like the type? And it was frustrating because you just can't tell. The one thing that did infect me, though, was the high spirits of so many of the black people on the train and subway. They were smiling. They were making eye contact and nodding hello. You could tell they felt like whole, complete people. And though I was still depressed about my own situation, their energy helped me continue into the day.

Finally, I realized what was happening: I had lost the feeling they had achieved. When I took my vows and married Steve, I felt whole and, for the first time in my life, my heart was completely full. My relationship was being acknowledged with the honor and dignity it deserved: the state of marriage. I was able to share that with very special people. With Tuesday's vote results, my heart had hemorrhaged and I felt less than a whole, complete person. I had become the nigger of the Religious Right.

But there are already court documents being filed. This is not the end, but the beginning of another long round of court cases, judgments and appeals to re-establish the simple right that the California Supreme Court so eloquently conferred back in May: every citizen's right to marry the person of his or her own choosing. It's just that I was hoping this one struggle would be over and the concept of elemental personal rights would start spreading beyond our borders. Guess not. But Steve and I still have our rings. We still have our valid marriage license. We still have one another. And all the good people interested enough to check in on us here on this blog.