Up to Date

I am much calmer these days. I have no real news to convey, except I have found a quiet spot in myself again. I have gotten over the insomnia and have fully accepted the fact that I am no longer part of The Hollywood Reporter and it is no longer a part of me, except for an entry in my resume and a whole lot of work in my portfolio.

It happened the other night in a dream: I had returned to PCPA in Santa Maria as a stage manager for a new show. Elizabeth Guider, the editor-in-chief and my cubicle buddy at THR, was the director of the show, and all the staff at the THR were the cast and crew. As I was setting up my office, I noted that I finally got one with windows.

About then, a mob came down the street, wrecking everything in sight (this was just after the Lakers won and people were "rioting" in the streets in downtown L.A.). They cracked the windows of my office, I ran out and grabbed a baseball bat out of the mob leader's hands, then realized it would do no good to disarm them, and gave it back.

After the police arrived and the mob cleared, cast and crew went back into the rehearsal room and we checked out the costumes, which had garish inflatable headdresses on them, looking like a cross between Lifesaver candies and brightly colored blow-up sex dolls. In the middle of rehearsal, there was a very strong earthquake, but I herded everyone to a safe place in the building and all were OK.

About that time I woke up and thought to myself, "These people are now all in a show at PCPA, which is part of my past; these people are a part of my past as well. That's when it gelled for me and some peace came.

So I'm much more comfortable with the idea of being in career free fall right now. And I'm much more focused on getting things done next week that will move me forward. So today, we went out and I got a plant for my desk at home, which makes it much pleasanter. (Here's a picture.) I also dropped off my olive-green suede shoes at Zinky's downtown for new heels (conservative, no stilettos) and some repair on the stitching. I love these shoes and, oddly enough, bought them the last time I was unemployed (1998) as part of my interviewing outfit. They've been sitting in the closet for years, and it seems appropriate that they now walk me into the next phase of my career. Ah, tradition.

It's getting late. Steve is probably already asleep. I should head in and join him.

Love to everybody.