Get Me to the Church On Time II

You may have read a post previously on this blog about the wedding of our friends Ed and Vicki. The phrase "get me to the church on time" had a different meaning back then.

One of the weirdest things about contemplating marriage for Steve and myself (and every other gay couple in California) is the ugly specter of the constitutional amendment initiative on the November ballot. (The gentlemen in the photo with their backs to the camera are eager to implant oppression into that document. They were present at the marriage of the lesbian couple who brought the case before the supreme court in the first place). And while all the information I can glean says that, even if the thing passes (a simple majority is all that's needed), it will most likely be overturned in the courts as being a revision of the constitution rather than an amendment, since it would alter the basic rights already set down in the document. Blah blah blah. It all adds up to the same thing: November 4 may be the end of a "free ride" for gay couples, and it may be months or years until it's all settled for sure.

So fear and dread have become a part of the planning process for the wedding. And concern over the ability to even get a license after the elections is a very real one. But gay people are incredibly strong and resilient (one has to be), and so I think we've figured out a way to meet our needs and still celebrate with our friends and family when the time comes.

Steve and I are going to get a marriage license and have a civil ceremony sometime before November, but we're not going to exchange our own vows or rings until we can wed before family and friends (and have a really good party, too). This way we can add our union to the thousands that will have been performed before the vote, ensure we have a valid document before anything hits the fan legally and politically, and still hold off celebrating until we can do so with the people who are important to us.

So it's vital now that we all defeat this amendment. Your wedding invitation depends on it! Bring it up with everyone; discuss it with people you know and help them understand your reasons for voting against it. Speak often and from the heart. Make it cocktail conversation of the first order. Let people know how wrong it is to put restrictions on human rights into the basic documents of our democracy, because once we allow one restrictive clause into one document, all become targets for every zealot of every era to use as a repressive social tool.

A straight person once asked Steve, "We have so many derogatory names for gays; what names do you have for straight people?"

You know, there aren't any. I've heard them referred to as "breeders," but that's in jest.

We don't spend any energy hating straight people. It doesn't make sense. They're our friends, our family, our coworkers, and the world without them would be a terrible, emptier place.

Isn't that the whole point?