Down to the Wire

(A Note: This was written on Monday, December 2nd, but I didn't publish it until today because of the deadlines I've been dealing with.)

My life since I returned home on Saturday, having spent Thanksgiving at my sister Kittie's, has been focused almost entirely on the chamber directory. With less than a week to go, I think we're going to make it with a little time to spare (wouldn't that be wonderful?).

I went over some of my postmortem paperwork with Kittie, just to make sure I was reading it right. Steve is the one I've always taken stuff like that to, but he's not available.

Mourning is such a weird process, and I find I begin to identify stages I've been going through over the past weeks. Like a roller coaster through thin gelatin, I am beginning to sense upward motion in my life, as well as downward. Every now and then, I don't feel weighed down hardly at all by things; I realize how much I enjoy my work, a cool autumn day with a real breeze, a good single-malt scotch. Eventually, things are going to be okay.

But my intense focus is on the directory. I think it's going to look terrific when it hits paper. Now that I've turned the job of shagging stray ads and copy over to the salesman, I can concentrate on the little tweaks that I'll have to make in the 52 pages of directory listings in the back of the book. The first 36 pages of editorial and advertising are pretty well ready to hit the press, except for about a dozen small, missing elements and final placement of photos.

Our press deadline is Monday, Dec. 9. After that, it's out of my hair, for a year, at least, or perhaps for forever. I'm only now beginning to sense what I want to do with the rest of my life: I want to spend it with friends doing things I love to do.

One thing I really hate is running my own business. It was tolerable when Steve was here to take care of the books (meager as they are), and I could concentrate on landing clients and doing the design work. I thought that's how it was going to go until I retired, keeping a couple special clients even in my leisure years. This, my second year in business, was when I would make a clear mark in the Pasadena business community. Instead, death took the year, from March halfway through October, and my focus and energy, as well.

My clients have been incredible, concerned and patient (but still letting me know they wanted to get things going as soon as possible). Less than six days from now, I will breathe a sigh of relief, then jump into setting up Poet Lisa's website, hoping to get her online by the 14th. Then Joy has a newsletter for the holidays that she wants to send out by the 22nd. Ray wants to expand his website, as well, but we agreed to wait until the holidays are over.

So here I am in one of those upward-gelatin moments, feeling good that the business will be coming in for the next few months, at least. Then I hope I hit a dry spell, because I'd like to take some time off and do a little traveling, see some people I haven't seen in a long time. By the time that happens, I think I'll be able to take advantage of the unfamiliar locales to balance my view of this new phase in my life.

I have a few ideas brewing already. More on that later.