Get Me to the Church On Time

Ed and Vicki got married on Saturday. This was the first church wedding I'd ever attended. It was a very nice affair, but no one told me I had lines, or that I had to sing songs. We all got a script (I'm sure it's called something else in church), and we kind of followed along.

Now, I have to tell you that I have this recurring nightmare where I'm backstage at a show and I'm put into a teddy bear costume and shoved out onstage where other actors in teddy bear costumes are doing a musical production number. I have no idea what the show is or what I'm supposed to do, so I just wing it. That experience went through my mind when I saw the script (that I'm sure they call something else), so I studied my lines before the wedding started.

As it turned out, the celebrant (that's what they call the minister doing the ceremony) pretty much walked us through it (motioning for us to rise and even telling us what to say before we had to say it), so if you weren't a practicing Episcopalian, you could still get through it without feeling too stupid. One thing that helped me feel not so bad was one of the maids of honor who fidgeted and rocked back and forth during the entire ceremony. With everyone watching her, who had time to realize I didn't know what I was supposed to do? I wasn't in a teddy bear costume, either, but a suit and tie is almost the same thing for me.

At the end of the service, Steve said when they were talking about love and devotion and the other good stuff, it reminded him of us. I told him that was half the purpose of a wedding; to remind people who are together just how lucky they are, assuming you don't hate each other. But really, Vicki and Ed are so well suited for each other, and I'm not just saying that because they might read this. It's really true for them. Two other people like that are Mary Ellen and Gary, who sat with me and Steve in the church, since we were just about the only people we knew.

The reception was at the Westin, which is just a walk around the block from All Saints Church. When we got there, the hall wasn't ready yet, so everyone stood outside in the large hallway waiting for the doors to open. There was punch and hors d'oeuvres (the crab cakes and mini beef Wellingtons were great) to keep us sated until the room was ready. Mary Ellen was our official hors d'oeuvres scout, but Gary was the one who figured out where we should position ourselves in the hall to obtain maximum appetizer coverage.

Once inside, it was a very opulent layout. In the middle of each table were kiddie toys, like gliders, Slinkies, paddle balls and generic Playdough. At each placesetting was foam clown nose and a funny nose and glasses in a bag. This is so Ed and Vicki. (They were sporting red foam noses when they made their entrance into the reception.) The buffet was very tasty, with chicken and salmon, and there was even a pasta bar, which was the stop for most people going back for seconds.

When it came time to throw the bouquet and garter, they invited everyone come forward and gave away prizes to the people who caught them. (I almost got the bouquet, but a woman in her 50s cut me off and the thing flew apart when she nabbed it.) They were prizes similar to what was on the table, like a badminton set.

They cut the cake and everyone was around them, taking pictures. You can see a camcorder and another amateur photographer in the way, but you do get a fairly good view of the cake and Ed. It was pretty good cake, for a wedding cake. I asked several people why wedding cakes don't every taste so hot, and the only answer is they have to make them ahead of time. Well, they have to make Hostess cupcakes ahead of time, too...well, come to think of it, THEY taste pretty terrible, too.

As the reception devolved into stunt glider shooting and toy paratroopers being hurled into the air, Steve and I left at the same time MaryEllen and Gary did. It was a really good wedding and a cracking good reception. I don't know if Ed and Vicki took a honeymoon afterwards, but if they did, I hope they're having lots of fun.