It's been over a week since Steve died. It hasn't really sunk in yet. The only times we've been apart for more than a day were when I visited my brother Steve and his family in Wisconsin while my Steve stayed at home and held down the fort.
I took my sister Kittie's advice and tried not to be alone. On Sunday, the 13th, I had dinner with Jessie at Panda Inn. She brought a falafal and salad stuff with her, so I had snacks beyond the stuff already in the fridge. She helped me pull out all the expired food and haul it out to the dumpster before we left for dinner.
Monday I was scheduled to spend at Robin and Evan's place, but somehow I just felt like being alone in the house, watching a movie, and so I did. Tuesday Jeff and Chuck descended and scooped me off for dinner at Green Street (one of our favorite restaurants). And Wednesday morning, Kittie arrived.
My greatest dread, beyond the paperwork needed to inherit the house and transfer the bank accounts, mortgage, etc., was going through his two file drawers crammed with papers. Also, the medical bills, the household expenses, HOA fees, insurance; the list goes on.
So Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (when her husband David joined us via Amtrak and the Gold Line) were pretty much given up to digging through the files, shredding pages with signatures or personal information (like the Social Security number), and tossing the rest. It goes back to 1991.
We also organized the medical bills, and Kittie put together a pile of calls to make and things to do in logical, sequenced priority.
Saturday the shredding started in earnest, moving everything downstairs so we could watch TV while we destroyed documents from two decades ago. In the evening, we went over to Robin and Evan's, and were joined by Jessie for a lovely dinner and evening.
Sunday was low-keyed. We continued the shredding (it's still not finished) and Kittie and David slowly packed up and left around 5 o'clock.
Monday I concentrated on building the InDesign file for the Directory from the master template. I didn't really look at my to-do list, and I know I didn't want to call anyone.
In the afternoon, a package arrived from my sister-in-law Carla. I had suggested she send chocolates to Steve, since they're easy to eat. When she got my e-mail about Steve's death, she e-mailed back, "Is there anything I can do?" I sent a reply: "Send the chocolates." And she had, along with a jar of my brother Jim's strawberry jam. Joyous!'
Today I sat down and wrote out a painful sum of checks corresponding to the medical bills received so far. The money's all there, but after having gone through this month of pain and death with Steve, to have to pay these amounts seems outrageous. Still, when Medicare and the VA coverage turn a $122,000 hospital bill into a $1,200 co-pay, I don't mind paying.
I also called the Neptune Society to make sure things were going smoothly. My contact there was on another line, so I left her a message (no voice mail?) why I was calling and my phone number. I'm assuming she got the stuff when I sent it last Thursday (something else Kittie helped with).
And that was it. That was all I could do. I have to call the bank tomorrow about the equity line of credit and the mortgage, since I want to pay both of those on time. There's still about a dozen calls to make, but I just can't make them today.
I figure one or two morbid tasks a day and one or two studio tasks a day, and things will be on their way by the end of the month. I sure wish they'd ship back Steve In The Box, 'cause I really miss him.
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