Shake, Rattle and Roll...on my BIRTHDAY!

Here's a little something from the CalTech Web site. It shows what we all felt quite clearly.


I was in an art department meeting in the seventh floor conference room at The Reporter when the building, which is on rollers, started rolling quite forcefully. A few of the attendees were from the Mid-West and had never experienced a temblor before so, needless to say, they were kind of freaked out.

"What do we do?" several people cried. "Get to the elevator lobby," I replied. It was only 20 feet away and, as I told them, "It's the most solid part of the building." No one seemed to pay any attention. My eye was on the floor-to-ceiling glass brick wall between the conference room and the hall. I decided it was worth it to go into the hall and head toward the elevators, but by the time we started doing so, the shaking had subsided.

Steve was at work making copies. He didn't seem too disturbed by the quake, and his only comment to me was he hoped it wouldn't screw up the copier.

Nothing at home fell and broke, except Steve reported a yard stick in the closet fell over and I noticed a pewter eagle had tipped over on a shelf in the bedroom. Not bad for a 5.4. But then, we're about 30 miles from the epicenter.

The unsettling part is the seismologists on the news this evening said it would take an earthquake 10,000 times the size of this one to relieve the stress along the San Andreas fault. If I do my math correctly, that would be about a 8.9 or so (about the size of the one that hit Anchorage back in the '60s). So the big one it was not.

Secretly, I wished it had been a 5.5; not because I wanted more destruction, but because it would have been cool to have a 5.5 on my 55th birthday.

Yeah, it's my birthday today. Thank you, God, for the fun present.

The Arrival

The rings arrived at the jeweler's on Monday. Needless to say, we went down after I got home from work and picked them up. This picture doesn't do them justice. I just can't seem to get a sharp picture of them with my iPhone, and I'm ashamed to admit it, but I don't know how to turn on the camera. But trust me; they're really pretty.

One of the things I've been doing with my extra time at work is reading through the 172-page Supreme Court decision overturning the prohibition of same-sex marriage here in California. It's a really amazing document, and you can download it by clicking here. (Change the "Last 100 hours" to "Last 120 days" and click "View." Look for May 15, S147999, In re Marriage Cases, about halfway down the page.) It's a really amazing document; even more so considering such a thoroughly humanistic document was written by a Republican. Maybe we should give them a little more slack than we have.

So download the decision and wade through it. I have a highlighted version that I'm working on at work, so I may make that available, in case you want to jump over all the citations and footnotes.

Steve's doing well at the new job. It has all the problems of working for a small firm, which comes down to a small group of personalities with no corporate structure to stifle them. He's good with people, though, and I think the bosses are starting to realize he knows what he's doing and his presence will solve a lot of ongoing problems in the accounting arena.

I've been working on several things at The Reporter, including a stand-alone issue that's going to publish at the Beijing Olympics on the same day that we're getting married (Aug. 8).

The powers that be have decided that we're not going to publish on Columbus Day, Veteran's Day and the week between Christmas and New Year's to save some money in this dismal economy. Luckily, I have just enough vacation and personal days left to take this time off and get paid for it. I put in my requests today and should know in a week or two if I have the time off.

Not much else to report. Things are going well. Looking forward to the nuptials and having our relationship validated like everyone else's, rather than having the condescending label of "domestic partnership" slapped on what is a really great relationship.

Everybody vote in November. And, if you're in California, you know what to do!

Much Obligated

It's weird, but when nothing happens and I see no reason to add to the blog, I still feel obligated to put something down to keep the minimasses of mine entertained.

I was trolling the Internet (there's too much crap on it to just surf anymore) and came across a really great Web site in Brighton and London, England, called artrepublic.com. They have some great stuff, so you should check it out. I've pulled down a few images to decorate this entry. I'm sure I'm breaking international law, but perhaps it won't be so bad if I actually buy something from them. (The first one is called "Fortunes Faded" by Static. Who knew we'd ever be nostalgic for the Nixon-Kennedy debates?)

Well, it's a week or less until the rings arrive. We get the license on Thursday, Aug. 7 and tie the knot on Friday, Aug. 8. (Did I run over all this before? I can't help it: I'm excited about being married. It's like someone telling you that, all of a sudden, you can have chocolate!)

The dinner on Saturday, Aug. 9 (the day before brother Steve and his lot leave to return to Wisconsin) has turned into a defacto wedding reception, with Sister Kittie, her husband David, my mom and Aunt Kit all joining us from Arroyo Grande. We're dining at Olvera Street at El Paseo Inn, which has been around nearly 100 years now.

Here's one by James Cauty called "Operation Magic Kingdom." Don't ask, don't tell. Which reminds me: there will be no honeymoon after the wedding ceremony, just as there will be no reception (even though it looks like there will be anyway). Steve's just started his job and, even though they offered to let him have a week off, I think the income from that period would be more welcome. Besides, we can always run down to Anaheim and visit with the Disney folks. My free passes aren't available until November, so we'd have to cough up the cash to make the visit, but it might be worth it and, pricey though it is, it's still cheaper than weekending just about anywhere.

Everybody's freaking out about the Indymac failure and the subsequent dive in the bank stock. People are so stupid. If nobody dumps their bank stocks, then they won't go down. The stock market is freaking out. Everyone's worried about a recession...

HELLO? we're in a recession, if the layoffs at work and the open tables at the restaurants on the weekends are any indication. So what do you do? What you did last time, which is hunker down, scale back and weather it out. And we're saving for a really nice formal wedding next spring. I'm feeling optimistic about the future, and here I see people freaking out outside their banks, coming really-really close to rioting. No one has any faith. To promote the concept, here's a piece of art by Kennard called "Peace."

Peace. Groovy, man, groovy.

Hot Days, Cool Rings

Summer is definitely here. It's well into the 90s every day now in Pasadena, and often we hit 100+ (like we're expected to this week). Steve's new workplace in Van Nuys gets even hotter, while I am blessed with mid- to upper-80s at work on the Wilshire Miracle Mile, thanks to the proximity of the ocean (several miles away, but close enough to mitigate the heat).

This Independence Day Weekend we were invited to a small get-together at friend John's home (he is going to be Stephen's best man). It was nice to see that we were almost all couples there. Longterm relationships are becoming almost trendy in the gay community, it seems. John's just a few blocks from the fireworks in South Pasadena, so all we needed to do was walk out to the street when we heard them start and watch the show framed through the palm trees.

On Saturday we went out and looked for rings. We found what we wanted at a good price in the second place we visited (a web shot is included here; similar to the rings we got, only ours are nicer).

In the first store I got the definite impression that the fellow waiting on us would much rather not have had us there. Though after a lifetime of being gently to rudely shunned by all sorts of people, it didn't bother me. We just didn't spend our money there. (Bite me, Mr. Raffi.)

The second place the store manager (named Greg) waited on us. He is "one of the children," as my Jamacain friend E Lloyd used to say, and was genuinely happy to help us find something nice. He was an excellent salesman (we spent our money there, didn't we?), and really shared in the joy of celebrating this moment that once seemed so impossible.

My brother Steve and his wife Pam (and perhaps their daughters Amanda and Emily) are coming out from Wisconsin to visit the first week in August, so Steve and I are thinking about having our civil ceremony while they're out here, just in case they can't make it back for the formal wedding and reception next year. (Not formal like all dressed up, but formal like that's when we'll spend the money on a bodacious party.)

I'm probably repeating myself, but for those of you who were alive in 1969 and watched man land on the moon, that's what it feels like to be planning our wedding. All my life it's been one of those basic things I was denied because I'm gay; now I have that freedom, and it leaves me in awe at how much people can change and grow and accept. Acceptance is so much nicer than merely being tolerated.

The rings are on order and should arrive by the 20th of this month. I'll take a picture of them and include it in a blog entry. Until then, enjoy.

Working Again

I just finished my first week at my new job. It feels great to be back at the "grind" again. I was off for just about a month. When the recruiter called to tell me I was going to be offered the job, he asked when I could start. I said "Monday. I found myself getting tempted to watch Jerry Springer and I'm scared!"

A little about the job. I am the Senior Accountant at American Trust Deed Services, Inc. in Van Nuys, CA. I am being paid 10% more than I was at Delta Shipping Supplies and Lunatic Asylum.

Although the commute is about 20 miles one way, I have been driving in for the first week. I will evaluate the effect of traffic on my serenity after a few weeks and decide if I would be better off taking rapid transit like Mark does. The up side of the Metro system is that it is cheaper ($60.00 per month, as opposed to $100.00+ for gasoline). Also, there is the fact that I can relax on the trip and read, listen to music or just people watch. The down side is that the time factor is much longer. I dragged poor Mark with me last Saturday on the Metro and it took almost 2 hours as opposed to 30-45 minutes by car. I guess I should be grateful to have such "Luxury Problems" when so many people are out of work with little to no prospects.

Now that I am working again, our wedding is back on the front burner. Yesterday, we spent a long time looking for wedding rings. We both have slightly different ideas about the perfect design, but we are both willing to compromise so I have complete confidence that we can arrive at a solution upon which we can both agree.

I am going to try to include a picture on my new office here, so wish me luck.

More later.

Car Dealerships in the Bowels of Hell

Actually they were in the bowels of Van Nuys. But when it's 110 in the shade (what a great name for a musical!) Van Nuys Boulevard does feel like the bowels of hell. Except there are more pawn shops than in hell. In fact, there are no car dealerships in hell, because everyone is forced to walk or take the bus (two versions of hell to anyone in Los Angeles).

We were on the streets of Van Nuys at the peak of the day's heat because STEVE GOT A JOB!

I write that like I'm surprised he did, and I'm not. He's got good skill sets and a great personality, so who wouldn't want to hire him? He had had an initial interview that went very well, and a second interview with both partners in the firm, and on Thursday last he was offered the job. The pay is 10 percent above his last position, which is a plus, but it's also in Van Nuys (about 22 miles away from Pasadena) so that's a nonplus. Basically, it means his entire raise would be eaten up by the cost of gas to and from the job. So he turned to my expertise on riding the commuter rails here in L.A., and asked me to go on a trip with him, tracing what his daily commute would be on the Metro system.

We took off from the Lake Avenue Gold Line station at 11:45. His commute will take him on the Gold Line into Union Station, then on the Red Line to North Hollywood, then on the Orange line to Van Nuys and, finally, on the bus up Van Nuys Boulevard to Victory Boulevard, which is about a block from his new work.

We clocked the commute at about one hour and forty minutes via this route. And we were lucky enough to get most of the local color, like the crackhead homies who never stop talking, with 70 percent of their vocabulary made up of the words "fuck," "shit" and "nigger" (or variations on them). There's the women I refer to as zombie munchkins: Diminutive ladies who get on the train or bus and stand, blocking the passages and doors, ignoring everyone and staring into space with hard little resentful pouts on their faces. If they have a baby stroller, they can be downright dangerous.

Then there's the religious zealots who often speak no English at all, gesticulating and trying to save you in their own peculiar tongues. And don't forget the acrobatic schizophrenics, a peculiar subgenre who talk and gesticulate angrily at the demons sitting next to them who are tormenting and saying unpleasant things. And, of course, the people who are talking on their cell phones until you notice that they have no phone and are conversing with their own imaginary friends.

Don't get me wrong, you may meet one of these specialities once or twice a month on the average commute: They don't like traveling during the rush hours. But on the weekends they seem to ride just for the fun of it.

On a brighter note, there's also a commuter express bus (more like a tour bus) that leaves from the Lake Avenue station and travels directly into the San Fernando Valley, stopping at Van Nuys Boulevard. It might be a little nicer, but it doesn't run as frequently. Also, there is his car and the freeways; the old-fashioned way to get around L.A. So Steve's going to drive in, at least for the first week, then check out the other modes and see which form of transport works best for him. And like I keep telling everyone, you don't have to take the train, but it's always an economic option.

So now we're both commuting 20-some miles from Pasadena to work. The poor cats will have to wait for someone to get home at seven or so in the evenings to feed them dinner. Poor puddy tats.

More as Steve's job progresses or hot things explode in Hollywood.

And, oh yeah, my cousin Robin is showing up on "The Bold and the Beautiful" every day now. She hasn't left Paris yet, but it's only a matter of time. Tune in at 12:30 p.m. PDT on CBS (check your local listings) and watch what happens.

And Click here to see her interview on the red carpet at the Daytime Emmys at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood (and see a lovely advertisement beforehand)!

Get Me to the Church On Time II

You may have read a post previously on this blog about the wedding of our friends Ed and Vicki. The phrase "get me to the church on time" had a different meaning back then.

One of the weirdest things about contemplating marriage for Steve and myself (and every other gay couple in California) is the ugly specter of the constitutional amendment initiative on the November ballot. (The gentlemen in the photo with their backs to the camera are eager to implant oppression into that document. They were present at the marriage of the lesbian couple who brought the case before the supreme court in the first place). And while all the information I can glean says that, even if the thing passes (a simple majority is all that's needed), it will most likely be overturned in the courts as being a revision of the constitution rather than an amendment, since it would alter the basic rights already set down in the document. Blah blah blah. It all adds up to the same thing: November 4 may be the end of a "free ride" for gay couples, and it may be months or years until it's all settled for sure.

So fear and dread have become a part of the planning process for the wedding. And concern over the ability to even get a license after the elections is a very real one. But gay people are incredibly strong and resilient (one has to be), and so I think we've figured out a way to meet our needs and still celebrate with our friends and family when the time comes.

Steve and I are going to get a marriage license and have a civil ceremony sometime before November, but we're not going to exchange our own vows or rings until we can wed before family and friends (and have a really good party, too). This way we can add our union to the thousands that will have been performed before the vote, ensure we have a valid document before anything hits the fan legally and politically, and still hold off celebrating until we can do so with the people who are important to us.

So it's vital now that we all defeat this amendment. Your wedding invitation depends on it! Bring it up with everyone; discuss it with people you know and help them understand your reasons for voting against it. Speak often and from the heart. Make it cocktail conversation of the first order. Let people know how wrong it is to put restrictions on human rights into the basic documents of our democracy, because once we allow one restrictive clause into one document, all become targets for every zealot of every era to use as a repressive social tool.

A straight person once asked Steve, "We have so many derogatory names for gays; what names do you have for straight people?"

You know, there aren't any. I've heard them referred to as "breeders," but that's in jest.

We don't spend any energy hating straight people. It doesn't make sense. They're our friends, our family, our coworkers, and the world without them would be a terrible, emptier place.

Isn't that the whole point?